Apprehension

My life experience has been rich. I would be reluctant to use that adjective if were not for so many that apparently view me as an interesting piece of African art - or something. Suffice it to say, I've lived as an individual and have had a zest for adventure and for the unusual. Nevertheless, I have not travelled globally despite incredible urges to do so. At the top of my list of places to visit before I die (a list started around age 7) has been the Amazonian rainforest. I wish I was able to visit it as it was when I was 7, but - as they say - it's better late than never. I could wax philosophical about that colloquillism but will refrain at the present. Now, as I prepare for a trip to the one place I've longed to visit for many years, a certain degree of apprehension has a grip on my thought processes. Naturally, there are practical challenges that deserve healthy respect ... spiders that could cover the top of my head, snakes that might consider me to be a light snack, irritating plants, freshwater stingrays, malaria, parasites, and - my favorite - the candiru, a tiny catfish known to wiggle its way into one's urethra while bathing. The cultures of Suriname are as varied as can be found in any one country on earth, and moving from village to village will certainly present some challenges with language and traditions. However, I believe my presence itself is what's giving me the greatest sense of apprehension. Had I known when I was seven what was to happen to the Amazon Rainforest in the intervening 40 years, I would undoubtedly had chosen some other destination for the top of my list and preferred to leave the tropical wilds untouched by the likes of me. Since I am going (and I very much do want to immerse myself into the interior), I can only hope that efforts there will assist the people in resisting destructive habits of the lifestyle I temporarily leave behind. Hypocrisy, internal moral conflicts, and harm to others on any level have always been an anathema I try to avoid. This avoidance will be a tall order for me while visiting the tropics. Perhaps, this is .... hopefully, this is .... just the typical apprehensive jitters before a trip to a new area, and the contribution will outweigh any possible detriment from this well-intentioned and curious outsider.

~ Phil